Saturday, February 11, 2017

Gen-X Deliverance, or Thoughts on Wrong Turn

Wrong Turn (2003), a hard-R, mean-spirited and humorless cannibal-fest features mutated backwoods inbred killers with super strength and heightened pain resistance.  With a few tweaks, this could have been an X-Men movie, but instead you get Eliza Dushku, you know, Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Echo in Dollhouse stars as Jessie, who, along with her gang of attractive college-aged friends, breaks down in the West Virginia woods and, well, you know what happens next.  There’s hostile locals, nasty barb wire man-traps, and a junkyard full of vintage cars to imply generations of victims, much like the ending in From Dusk Till Dawn (1996, is that a spoiler?  For a 21 year-old movie? So sorry/not sorry).
Reminiscent of The X-Files episode “Home” (1996) but without any characters you actually care about or interesting killers, Wrong Turn is another movie that teaches the tired lesson that City Folk should stay in the City, and have no idea how to defend themselves in the big bad woods.  Eliza is playing another variation of Faith, the 90’s post-Spice Girl spitfire, not really a stretch for her.  Watch out for Jeremy Sisto from Six Feet Under and Desmond Harrington, Joey Quinn from Dexter.
The isolation/survival horror movie had an interesting twist a year later with Creep (2004), a similarly themed movie but set in an urban setting, the sewers and subways of London.  Wrong Turn is essentially The Hills Have Eyes (1977) in the woods, and suffers from the inevitable comparisons to the gold standard of the inbred cannibal family movies, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974).
To date there have been 6 Wrong Turns, which I couldn’t be bothered to watch, which is ironic when you think about it as I Just Watched All 9 Seasons Of TheX-Files Backwards, So You Don’t Have To, in addition to All Three I Know What You Did Last Summers,  both My Bloody Valentines, all three I Know What You DidLast Summers and also all five Final Destinations.  What can I say, I’m a completionist.

my first novel?  thanks for asking:)  it’s a the first book in a 4-volume supernatural martial arts series chock full of killer kung-fu witches, haunted carnivals, punk rock assassins, and a 24-hour diner with the best pie in town…
read for free on kindle unlimited or buy the paperback, available at fine bookstores everywhere (amazon).