Monday, March 6, 2017

Do Not Pass Go, or I Watched Ouija, So You Don’t Have To

Technically, like Battleship (2012) or Clue (1985, with Tim Curry!) Ouija (2014) is another movie based on a board game, about (wouldn't you know), a haunted Ouija board with an interesting twist: when you look through the planchette you can see the ghost you’re communicating with.  That feature is, alas, the only original aspect of this TV movie feature film filled with cheap jump scares, an unfortunate lack of atmosphere, and a weak script.
However Ouija also stars British actor Olivia Cooke, who you know and love as Emma Decody in Bates Motel is Laine Morris, the intrepid teen best friend and pretty much the only reason I watched this movie.  But even her natural charisma and star-quality isn’t enough to save this film.  At its essence this movie is a teen suicide metaphor; making sense of senseless death by adding a supernatural malevolence.  But it’s difficult to craft truly effective PG-13 horror movie, a director really needs to be on top of their game with a clever or at least tight story line.  Ouija has neither, and currently holds a dismal 7% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
There are so many better contemporary ghost movies I could recommend off the top of my head; The Ring (2002, PG-13), Drag Me to Hell (2009, PG-13), TheConjuring  (2013, rated R) and especially El Orfanato (2007, rated R).  See what I mean?  You really need an R rating to really shake that audience up.


my first novel?  thanks for asking:)  it’s a the first book in a 4-volume supernatural martial arts series chock full of killer kung-fu witches, haunted carnivals, punk rock assassins, and a 24-hour diner with the best pie in town…
read for free on kindle unlimited or buy the paperback, available at fine bookstores everywhere (amazon).